Incest and Abuse Recovery Takes Inner Strength!
The strength within a child of abuse.
Be strong! When I used to hear someone say that, it would baffle me because – while I understand English fluently – I didn't have a clue what (or how) “Be Strong” entailed. Many times I still feel so lost in the storms of life that I feel ineffectual, like I am struggling to move a mountain with a teaspoon.
I have often-times in my life felt weak, inefficient, and lacking in strength to make it through a situation. I have failed many times because of lacking in the strength to persevere. I have given up in the past on things that I could have completed if I had just stuck with it.
In the past I faced impossible odds. But somehow I found the strength to survive. I believe it was willpower, sheer force of will that gave me strength. As a child, I would often close my eyes and think: “Come on girl, somehow you’ve got to be able to survive this to get to those unknown people out there who will truly love you.” Or if I wanted to try to do something I would think: “So just at least try.” Another part of me thought: “If I fail, then so what. I am just a little girl anyways, it’s not like I am a big person. They might feel bad for failing, but I can just try again.” I was very young. Now, as an adult I think sometimes: “What are you attempting to do here? Are you crazy? This is impossible.” Then, after a few moments that spunk inside of me kicks in and says: “Just tackle this one bit at a time and you will do great.”
During incest recovery, when you need more and are weak and frightened out of your mind, and confused and uncertain… where you do go inside to get more strength? I believe I found my strength in these following ways. You may be the same, you may be very different, but here goes:
- Prayer, chanting, meditation. Asking for strength from your higher power.
- Being positive about your abilities to handle it
- Keep moving towards your goals and daily routine in an upbeat positive way.
- Taking care of your physical needs.
- Staying sober will actually help you be more focused.
- Art can inspire you to reach higher.
- Music really helps. It can pump you up or calm you down. Use music.
- Connecting with outdoors, a brisk walk, eating lunch by a city fountain or pond, whatever nature you can get out into.
- Talking to a friend, a loved one.
>>VERY IMPORTANT >>>> DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF!
PITY PARTIES DRAG YOU UNDER LIKE CEMENT SHOES...
If you want to cry and get it out of you then cry your eyes out. Then:
A. Get up
B. Wash your face
C. Get back to being productive
D. Begin thinking positive thoughts
If you make it through the day and you did well, but later that night you just feel like crying again, do it. Cry, and get it out, and move on. Do not feel sorry for yourself. It will make your situation harder to cope with and move past.
Slowly, as you move through the hours and the days of incest recovery, you become stronger… and things that previously overwhelmed you and laid you to waste become easier to handle.
A friend of mine said: “You grow stronger by facing that which you would rather avoid.”
Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, you will rise up again whole and renewed!